3 

056 


PROM 

Mrs.  Edmund  Andre*  t 
Nil  Surf  Strtet 
rhicago,  Illinois 


Powder  and   Patches 


A  Comedy  in  Two  Actr 


BY 


j!  MARY  MONCURK  PARKER 


Author    of   "When    Your   Wife's   Away"    (a   farce),     '  Mrs 

Bubby's  Pink  Tea"    (a   comedietta),    "A  Girl  from 

Chicago,"     "A  Fair  Maid  of  Florida," 

"A  Lucky  Hazard,"  Etc. 


CHICAGO 

Frederick  J.    Drake   &   Co., 

PUBLISHERS 


COPYRIGHTED,    IgOi 

BY  FREDERICK   J.    DRAKE   Ic  CO. 

CHICAGO,  ILL.,   U.S.A. 


Printed    in    I'.    S.    A. 


NOTB — The  acting  rights  of  this  play  are  expressly  reserved.  Theatrical  managers  wish 
ing  to  produce  it  should  apply  to  the  publishers.  Amateur  representation  may  be 
made  without  such  application  and  without  charge. 

FREDERICK  J.  DRAKE  &  CO.,  PUBLISHERS. 


Powder  and  Patches 

A   Comedy   in   Two  Acts. 

By 
Mary  Moncure  Parker, 

Author  of 

"When  Your  Wife's  Away"  (A  Farce). 

"Mrs.     Busby's     Pink    Tea."      (A     Comedietta } 

"A  Girl  of  Chicago."    "A  Fair  Maid  of  Florida." 

"A   Lucky   Hazard,"   Etc. 


Cast  of  Characters. 

Mr.  Richard  Carter A  Virginia  Gentleman 

Mistress  Carter His  \Vife 

Agnes  Carter Their  Daughter 

Betty  Sinclair Her  Friend 

Prudence  Hopewell A  Quakeress 

Lady  Seraphina  Burlingame An  English  Lady 

Sir  Charles  Mawly An  Old  Beau 

Captain  Edward  Peyton.  Officers  in  the 

Lieutenant  Robert  Burns.  Continental  Army 

Geranium Servants  in  the  house- 
Gabriel..                                       ..hold  of  Mr.  Carter. 


4  POWDER    AND   PATCHES 

Plot  laid  in  Virginia  in  the  Eighteenth  Century, 
during  the  War  of  the  American  Revolution. 

SCENE  I. — Library.  Living  room  at  Glenview,  the 
estate  of  Mr.  Richard  Carter,  a  gentleman  of  Virginia. 
To  the  left  of  the  stage  is  a  colonial  couch  and  a  screen 
is  placed  back  of  the  couch,  concealing  a  door.  A 
small  table  containing  decanter  and  glasses  stands 
at  back  of  the  stage  near  the  screen.  (To  the  right 
is  a  chest  of  drawers,  on  top  of  which  are  candle- 
sticks, blue  plates,  pewter  platters,  etc.  At  one  side 
of  the  chest  of  drawers  is  a  window  curtained  in  white 
with  plants  arranged  upon  the  sill.  A  tall  colonial 
clock  is  in  the  background  to  the  right.)  To  the  right 
of  center  stands  a  table  with  old-fashioned  chairs  ar- 
ranged upon  either  side. 

The  ladies  are  costumed  in  Watteau  gowns  with 
powdered  hair,  the  gentlemen  in  velvets  and  satins, 
knickerbockers,  white  wigs,  silk  hose  and  buckled 
shoes ;  the  two  young  officers  are  in  costume  of  the 
Continental  Army. 

N.  B. — The  screen,  couch,  table,  two  chairs — win- 
dow effect — decanter  and  glasses  and  candles  are  nec- 
essary to  arrangement  of  room.  The  chest,  clock, 
platters,  etc.,  are  optional,  but  will  add  to  the  picture 
(if  procurable). 

ACT  I. 

Voice  of  Geranium  in  hall  singing. 

"Ever  since  King  Jesus  set  me  free 
This  vain  world's  been  a  hell  to  me." 

Agnes  Carter — in  costume  of  last  century — seated 
at  table  writing;  folds  letter,  looking  about  her  cau- 
tiously ;  rises  and  starts  to  door  as  Geranium  enters ; 


POWDEU    AND   PATCHES  D 

puts  finger  to  her  lip  and  draws  the  negress  to  the 
front  of  stage. 

Agnes  Carter.  "Was  there  a  letter,  Geranium?" 
Geranium.  "Not  a  one,  Miss  Agnes.  Shuahs  you's 
born,  dat  worfless  Kitty  done  spied  on  me  an'  got  hoi' 
of  dem  lettahs  some  way.  Just  let  me  kotch  her  at 
it,  an'  I'se  gwine  to  turn  her  out  to  be  et  by  de  Rebel 
sojers.  I'se  afeard,  honey,  ole  Miss  done  'spect  me 
an'  has  set  Kitty  spyin'  on  us." 

Agnes  (standing  holding  the  letter  and  looking  anx- 
ious). "I  am  afraid,  Geranium,  it  will  be  of  no  use  to 
.yivt  you  this  letter.  It  will  never  reach  the  one  for 
whom  it  is  intended.  Two  months  since  I  have  heard 
from  Edward — and  in  this  distracted  state  of  the  coun- 
try— I  know  not  if  he  be  living  or  dead" (Begins 

to  cry.) 

Geranium  (drawing  the  young  girl  to  her).  "Now, 
my  baby  lam',  don'  you  cry.  Give  me  dat  lettah  an' 
I'll  tell  Ole  Gabe  to  keep  his  eyes  on  her,  an'  if  Kitty 
comes  roun'  to  make  her  think  the  Rebel  sojers  is 
gwine  to  kotch  her.  He  kin  scare  dat  gal  white. 
Pears  like  she's  mighty  'feared  of  Genrul  Washington 
an'  his  ban'." 

Agnes  (handing  her  the  letter  and  looking  over  her 
shoulder).  "Geranium,  you  little  know  how  much  de- 
pends on  this  letter.  'Tis  my  mother's  wish  that  I 
marry  an  English  baronet  whom  I  met  at  a  ball  at 
Lady  Burlingame's.  He's  old  enough  to  be  my  father. 
I  don't  know  what  I  shall  do.  I  am  nearly  beyond 
my  wits." 

Geranium.  "Don't  you  worry  yo'  pretty  haid  any 
mo',  chile.  It's  all  gwine  to  come  out. right.  You 
know  ole  Miss,  yo'  ma,  is  jes'  chock  full  o'  pride, 
and  dat's  jes'  de  reason  she  don't  want  you  to  marry 
Captain  Peyton,  'kase  he  done  jine  de  Rebels,  an'  yo' 

2055233 


6  POWDER   AND  PATCHES 

ma  come  from  'way  up  fokes  yondah  in  Europy.  She's 
lookin'  pretty  high  fur  you,  I  kin  tell  yo.'  An'  you'd 
shine  anywhar,  honey;  you's  proud  an'  high-steppin' 
as  a  young  hoss.  I  done  ask  ole  Miss  one  day  what 
she  call  you  such  a  common  name  like  Agnes  fur; 
you  ought  to  bin  named  Jerusy  or  Victory  Queen  or 
some  big  name  like  dat.  But  (looking  hastily  around) 
hush!  heah  comes  yo'  ma."  (Picks  up  feather  duster 
and  begins  dusting  and  singing  her  refrain  vigorously, 

"Ever  since  King  Jesus  set  me  free."  etc. 

Enter  Mistress  Richard  Carter.  Looks  suspiciously 
from  Geranium  to  Agnes,  who  has  seated  herself  has- 
tily and  is  reading  a  book. 

Mistress  Carter  (sarcastically).  "Well,  Geranium, 
this  is  rather  a  sudden  conversion  to  activity,  is  it  not? 
Truly,  'tis  not  your  wont  to  thus  employ  your  time." 

Geranium.  "Now,  Miss  Mary,  how  come  yo'  talk  dat 
a-way  so  onreasonin'?  You  know  I'se  a  mighty  over- 
worked niggah" 

Mistress  Carter  (with  a  significant  glance  from 
Agnes  to  Geranium).  "I  notice  that  you  have  been 
very  busy  for  some  time  past — taking  walks,  for  in- 
stance, down  to  the  hollow  tree  at  the  end  of  the 
avenue." 

Agnes  looks  up  hastily,  then  drops  her  eyes  upon 
her  book  again.  Geranium  drops  her  duster. 

Geranium.  "Gawd  knows,  Miss  Mary,  I  ain't  never 
took  no  lettah  to  dat  ole  tree  nor  brung  none  back, 
shuah's  King  Gawge  done  reign  ober  dis  Ian'  an'  de 
devil's  gwine  to  kotch  de  Rebels." 

Mistress  Carter  (smiling  sarcastically).  "Did  I  say 
aught  of  any  letter?  Really,  you  make  me  suspicious. 
You  are  so  quick  to  deny  that  of  which  I  have  not 
accused  you.  You  may  go,  Geranium.  I  wish  to 


POWDER    AND    PATCI1F.S  7 

talk  with  Agnes.  But  stay  (as  Geranium  hurries  out). 
Perchance  'twould  be  as  well  to  give  me  the  letter  in 
your  bosom  before  you  go." 

Geranium  (protestingly).  ''Now,  Miss  Mary,  you 
will  keep  talkin'  'bout  a  lettah.  How  on  earth's  a 
po'  niggah  what  don't  know  readin'  an'  writin'  gwine 
to  have  a  lettah  ?  Nobody  ain't  done  writ  to  me." 

Mistress  Carter  (holding  out  her  hand  authorita- 
tively). "Say  no  more,  Geranium.  Give  me  the  letter 
at  once." 

Geranium  (slowly  feeling  in  the  folds  of  the  kerchief 
about  her  neck).  "Well,  fur  de  Lawd's  sake,  Miss 
Mary,  if  heah  ain't  a  lettah !  How  you  'spose  dat 
lettah  come  in  my  bosom  ?  I  tell  you,  Miss  Mary,  dis 
heah  sojer,  Genrul  Washington,  done  conjure  ev'y- 
body.  Dis  country's  jest  full  of  ghostes  an'  hants  an' 
mixteries.  Pears  like  de  Lawd  done  desert  His  chil- 
lun,  fur  shuah." 

Mistress  Carter  (severely,  taking  the  letter).  "You 
may  go,  Geranium." 

Exit  Geranium. 
Agnes  bends  her  head  lower  over  her  book. 

Mistress  Carter  (handing  her  the  letter).  <:Agnes, 
this  is  your  property,  I  believe.  See,  I  return  it  to  you 
unopened,  although  as  your  mother  'tis  my  duty  to 
peruse  its  contents.  You  have  been  disobedient  and 
undutiful" 

Agnes  (rising  hastily).  "Mother,  speak  not  thus 
to  me,  I  pray  you." 

Mistress  Carter.  "I  do  repeat,  you  have  been  most 
undutiful  in  writing  to  one  whom  I  have  forbidden  the 
house." 

Agnes.  "But,  mother,  Edward  Peyton  is  a  gentle- 
man. His  father's  estate  lies  next  to  ours  and  I  have 


8  POWDER    AND   PATCHES 

known  him  from  a  child.  As  children  we  raced  to- 
gether in  the  woods  and  waded  in  the  brooks" 

Mistress  Carter  (with  a  gesture  of  impatience).  "Let 
me  hear  no  more.  When  Edward  Peyton  joined  the 
Rebel  ranks  he  severed  all  possibility  of  any  connec- 
tion with  one  of  our  name.  Think  you  I  would  link 
your  name  with  that  of  a  traitor — I,  a  loyal  subject  of 
King  George?  My  girlhood  was  spent  at  the  English 
court,  and,  though  it  has  been  my  misfortune  to  be  a 
settler  in  this  Godforsaken,  plebeian  New  World,  yet 
rny  heart  is  ever  loyal  to  dear  England  and  my  King." 

Agnes  (excitedly).  "Mother,  how  can  you  speak 
thus  of  the  land  of  my  birth?  'Tis  a  beautiful  land 
of  promise,  and  as  for  being  linked  with  a  traitor,  I 
am  proud  of  Edward  that  he  is  fighting  for  what  he 
believes  to  be  right.  For  myself,  I  know  not  whether 
I  am  a  loyal  subject  of  King  George,  or  whether  I 
desire  that  the  Colonies  shall  be  free  and  independent 
states,  and  I  believe  father  feels  as  I  do." 

Mistress  Carter  (angrily).  "This  is  treasonable  lan- 
guage. Let  me  hear  no  more.  You  and  your  father 
may  think  as  you  please.  I  am  loyal  to  my  colors  and 
fear  not  to  show  them.  But  let  me  hear  no  more  of 
this  lover  of  yours.  Tonight  I  expect  Sir  Charles 
Mawly,  who  has  requested  the  honor  of  addressing 
you,  and  you  are  to  answer  in  the  affirmative  his  offer 
ot  marriage.  (Listening  a  moment.)  Hark!  I  hear 
carriage  wheels.  This  may  be  Sir  Charles.  (Goes 
to  window  and  looks  out.)  No,  'tis  Betty  Sinclair  and 
that  odd  little  Quaker  cousin  of  hers  from  Phila- 
delphia." 

Enter  Gabriel. 

Gabriel.  "Mistress  Betty  Sinclair,  Miss  Mary,  an' 
(commencing  to  laugh)  she  done  got  de  queeres'  little 
critter  wid  her  vou  ever  done  see." 


POWDER    AXD    PATCHES  9 

Agnes.  "Never  mind  giving  us  your  opinion,  Ga- 
briel. Conduct  them  to  the  library." 

Gabriel.  "Yes,  ma'am,  Miss  Agnes,  I  ain't  gwine 
to  'spress  no  'pinion.  You  know  I'se  a  very  circum- 
spectious  niggah.  'Tain't  my  way  to  'spress  no  'pinion. 
I  leave  dat  fur  'way  low-down  niggahs  what  ain't 
got  no  manners.  'Tain't  my  desire,  neither,  to  be 
allus  puttin'  in  my  word." 

Mistress  Carter  (emphatically).  "That  will  do, 
Gabriel." 

Gabriel.  "Yes,  ma'am,  Miss  Mary,  I'm  agwine  right 
away.  1  ain't  gwine  to  'spress  no  'pinion,  neither.  I 
know  yo'  all's  ideahs  'bout  niggahs  havin'  too  much 
to  say  'round'  de  house,  an'  I  respec's  yo'  all's  feelin's." 

Mistress  Carter  (severely).  "Gabriel,  you  may  go." 

Gabriel  (backing  out).  "Yes,  ma'am,  Miss  Mary. 
I'm  agwine  right  'long.  I  ain't  gwine  to  'spress  no 
'pinion,  neither,  but  (pauses  and  laughs)  she  surt'inly 
is  queer." 

Exit  Gabriel. 

Enter  Betty  Sinclair,  in  short-waisted  gown  and 
large  bonnet,  and  Prudence  Hopewell.  in  Quaker  cos- 
tume of  gray  with  white  apron,  folded  kerchief  and 
bonnet.  Betty  runs  up  to  Agnes  and  kisses  her.  Pru- 
dence curtsies  to  Mistress  Carter  and  then  greets 
Agnes. 

Betty.  "My  dearest  love,  if  I  am  not  glad  to  see 
you !  And  you,  dear  Mistress  Carter  (curtsying  to 
her),  what  a  blessed  while  since  I  laid  eyes  on  either 
of  you.  What,  with  rough  roads  and  detachments  of 
soldiers  and  the  whole  country  so  unsettled,  one  feels 
like  flying  to  parts  unknown.  I  wish  somebody  would 
win  or  be  defeated — the  British  or  the  Rebels  or  some- 
body. I  am  so  tired  of  having  to  wait  so  long  for 


10  POWDER   AND   PATCHES 

clothes  because  prices  are  so  dreadful.  If  it  were  not 
for  an  occasional  ball,  life  would  not  be  worth  the 
living." 

Agnes  and  Betty  sit  together  upon  the  couch,  and 
Mistress  Carter  and  Prudence  sit  in  chairs  near  table. 
Mistress  Carter  knits  as  she  converses. 

Mistress  Carter.  "Did  you  enjoy  the  ball  at  Lady 
Burlingame's,  Betty?" 

Betty.  "Did  I  ?  It  was  a  dream.  Such  gowns !  Did 
you  see  that  lovely  padusoy  covered  with  flowers?" 

Agnes.  "And  that  white-watered  tabby  trimmed 
with  gold  lace." 

Betty.  "Yes — yes — and  that  lace  head-dress  Lady 
Burlingame  wore.  Why,  it  must  have  cost  shillings 
and  shillings  a  yard.  And  then  the  British  officers  i 
Such  uniforms !  Heigho !  They  make  one's  heart  go 
pit-a-pat,  even  if  one  is  a  sort  of  rebel." 

Prudence  HopewelL  "Dear  cousin  Betty,  I  fear  thy 
conversation  hath  a  frivolous  sound." 

Betty  (with  a  burst  of  laughter).  "Hear  the  ridicu- 
lous little  creature !  Really,  Prudence  will  be  the 
death  of  me,  with  her  'thees'  and  'thous.'  She  calls 
our  coach  and  four  a  'convenience,'  and  thinks  it  im- 
modest to  appear  without  an  apron,  and  sinful  to  wear 
puffs  and  pleats.  Think  of  a  dear  little  gray  dove  like 
that  for  one's  conscience !  I  really  believe,  though, 
that  way  down  in  her  heart  she  has  a  tiny  bit  of  fri- 
volity, and  would  like  to  wear  ribons  and  laces  and 
furbelows  like  the  rest  of  us." 

Prudence  (raising  both  hands).  "Cousin  Betty,  thy 
tongue  is  an  unruly  member.  Thee  knows  I  desire  to 
be  free  from  guile." 

Mistress  Carter  (smiling).  "Do  not  mind  Betty. 
She  is  just  a  bundle  of  frivolity  herself." 


POWDER    AND   PATCHES  11 

Enter  Gabriel. 

Gabriel  (announcing,  with  a  grand  flourish).    "Lady 
Burlingame  and  Sir  Charles  Mawly." 
All   rise   quickly. 

Mistress  Carter  (straightening  her  gown  and  touch- 
ing her  wig).  "Dear  me!  Show  them  to  the  drawing 
room,  Gabriel.  I  will  come  immediately." 

Gabriel.  Yes,  ma'am,  Miss  Mary.  Dey's  mighty 
fine  fokes,  I  tell  yo'." 

Mistress  Carter.    "Gabriel,  that  will  do." 

Gabriel.  "Yes,  ma'am,  Miss  Mary.  I  ain't  gwine  to 
'spress  no  'pinion ;  but  dey's  all  trussed  up  like  Christ- 
mas fowls" 

(Mistress  Carter  looks  at  him  and  he  hastens  out.) 

Mistress  Carter.  "I  will  leave  you  girls  together  for 
a  time  and  go  to  my  guests." 

Exit  Mistress  Carter. 

Betty  (running  to  Agnes).  "Oh,  Agnes,  dearest, 
have  you  had  a  letter?" 

Agnes  (sadly,  shaking  her  head).  "Not  for  two 
long  months,  and  oh,  Betty,  dear,  I  am  so  unhappy!" 
(Puts  her  arms  about  Betty's  neck  and  sobs.) 

Betty  (soothingly).  "There,  now,  don't  cry,  because 
maybe  I  have  some  good  news." 

Agnes  (catching  her  hands  in  both  of  hers,  eagerly). 
"Oh,  Betty,  dear,  tell  me  what  you  know.  You  have 
heard  something." 

Betty  (laughing).  "How  you  jump  at  conclusions! 
Suppose,  now,  somebody  was  alive  and  well,  and  was 
not  very  far  from  here." 

Agnes.  "Sh !"  (with  her  finger  on  her  lips,  looking 
toward  Prudence). 

Betty  (laughing).    "Oh,  do  not  mind  Prudence.  She 


12  POWDER    AND   PATCHES 

is  too  much  of  a  little  saint  to  betray  even  such  sin- 
ners as  we  are,  and  then,  what  does  she  know  of  such 
a  frivolous  thing  as  love?" 

Prudence  (demurely  shaking  her  head).  "Fear  me 
not.  I  know  naught  of  love.  My  thoughts  are  upon 
higher  things." 

Agnes.  "Hasten,  Betty,  dearest,  and  tell  me  what 
you  have  heard.  I  am  consumed  with  curiosity  and 
anxiety.  You  know  this  Sir  Charles  Mawly  has  come 
to  ask  my  hand  in  marriage.  I  tell  you,  I  will  not 
marry  him." 

Enter  Mr.   Richard   Carter. 

Mr.  Carter.  "Hoity-toity!  What's  this,  I  hear? 
These  three  heads  together  mean  nothing  short  of  a 
Rebel  conspiracy." 

Agnes  (running  to  him).  "Oh,  father,  dearest,  I 
am  so  miserable !" 

Betty  (catching  his  arm).  "Yes,  dear  Mr.  Carter, 
Agnes  is  very  unhappy." 

Prudence  (coming  forward).  "Yes,  verily.  Friend 
Carter,  thy  child  is  very  sad." 

Mr.  Carter.  "Well,  bless  my  soul !  What  can  the 
matter  be?  Has  King  George  abdicated  or  has  Gen- 
eral George  vacated?" 

Agnes.  "Now,  father,  dear,  do  not  joke  at  such  a 
time.  Do  be  serious  for  once,  when  your  child  is  on 
the  verge  of  despair.  You  know  I  have  not  heard 
from  Edward  for  two  months,  and  I  know  not  if  he  be 
living  or  dead,  and  mother  is  even  now  in  the  drawing 
room  with  Sir  Charles  Mawly,  whom  she  insists  J  shall 
marry.  Now,  father,  please  do  help  me." 

Mr.  Carter  (jokingly).  "How  can  I  help  you.  my 
dear  Agnes,  if  your  mother  has  laid  down  the  law"- 

Agnes    (with   an   impatient   shrug).     "Assert   your 


POWDER    AXD    PATC1IKS  13 

auiliority.  Refuse  to  allow  me  to  be  the  wife  of  a 
man  I  despise." 

Mr.  Carter.  "My  dearest  daughter,  I  have  lived 
with  your  mother  for  over  twenty  years.  Do  you 
think  I  should  be  here  to  tell  the  tale  if  I  had  ever 
resisted  her  authority?  I  have  always  allowed  hef 
to  have  her  own  way,  or  think  she  had,  and  conse- 
quently we  have  lived  a  most  peaceable  and  amiable 
sort  of  existence." 

Agnes.  "Father,  you  are  incorrigible.  You  will 
never  be  serious."  (Begins  to  cry.) 

Mr.  Carter  (putting  his  arm  about  her).  "There, 
don't  cry.  I  haven't  said  I  would  not  see  what  could 
be  done,  have  I?  Sometimes  a  citadel  that  cannot  be 
captured  by  storm  can  be  taken  by  strategy." 

Betty  (clapping  her  hands).  "Oh,  tell  us,  dear  Mr. 
Carter,  what  you  are  going  to  do." 

Mr.  Carter  (tapping  her  under  the  chin).  "Tell  you, 
you  little  chatterbox.  Why,  if  I  wanted  to  spread 
my  plans  all  over  the  country" 

Betty  (clapping  her  hand  over  his  mouth).  "How 
dare  you  say  such  things  of  poor  little  me?" 

Mr.  Carter  (continuing).  "And  do  you  suppose  I 
would  talk  of  strategy  before  such  an  innocent  little 
creature  as  Mistress  Prudence?" 

Prudence  (with  a  quaint  courtesy).  "Oh,  friend 
Carter,  pray  do  not  mind  me.  I  am  interested  in  the 
welfare  of  dear  Agnes." 

Mr.  Carter   (smiling).     "Even  the  little  gray  dove 

is  capable  of  being  bribed.    Well,  well,  as  for  plans  I 

have  not  had  time  to  make  any,  but  (taking  a  pinch 

of  snuff  and  looking  wise)  we  shall  see — we  shall  see." 

Enter  Gabriel. 


14  POWDER    AND   PATCHES 

Gabriel.  "Mars  Richard,  Miss  Mary  done  want  to 
see  you  in  the  drawing  room." 

Agnes.  "Oh,  father,  dear,  mother  wants  you  to  see 
Sir  Charles.  Do  not  give  your  consent." 

Mr.  Carter.     "My  dear  daughter,  I  can  only  parry 
the  thrust  for  the  present,  but  have  patience." 
Exit  Mr.  Carter. 

Betty.  "And  all  this  time  I  have  been  waiting  to 
tell  my  secret.  No,  I  will  not  tell  you.  You  cannot 
come  with  me,  now ;  so  we  will  run  the  risk.  Pru- 
dence, be  on  your  guard." 

Exit  Betty. 

Agnes  (looking  mystified).  "Has  Betty  lost  her 
wits?  On  what  scheme  is  she  bent  now,  Prudence?" 

Prudence.  "Alas !  I  am  but  a  simple  Quaker  maiden, 
friend  Agnes.  How  should  I  know  of  schemes?" 

Captain  Edward  Peyton  and  Lieutenant  Robert  Burns 

enter  unperceived  by  Agnes.     Prudence 

makes  no  sign. 

Agnes.  "You  ridiculous  little  maid,  of  course  you 
know  nothing  of  schemes,  and,  Prudence,  dear,  be 
very  glad  that  you  know  nothing  of  love,  either.  A 
girl  in  love  is  the  most  unhappy  creature  in  the  world." 

Edward.    "And  why,  pray?" 

Agnes  (turning  with  a  start,  pauses  a  moment,  then 
gives  a  glad  little  cry  and  runs  into  his  arms).  "Ed- 
ward !" 

Edward.    "My  darling!" 

Agnes.  "Oh,  Edward,  how  did  you  get  here?  Why 
have  you  not  written  ?  I  have  been  so  wretched  !" 

Edward.  "Do  you  think  I  have  been  less  wretched, 
clear  girl — not  one  word  have  I  heard  from  you  for  two 
months." 


POWDER    AND    PATCHES  15 

Agnes.  "Two  months !  I  have  written  nearly  every 
day.  Edward,  there  has  been  some  treachery.  It  is  as 
Geranium  has  said :  Some  one  has  discovered  our 
se-cret  and  has  taken  the  letters —  but  never  mind, 
I  have  you  now.  Tell  me  all  about  yourself." 

Edward.  "We  have  been  stationed  near  Mount  Air- 
ly— Betty  Sinclair's  home,  and  'twas  in  this  way  that 
Betty  managed  to  smuggle  us  here  to-day — but  I  have 
so  much  to  tell  you  and  the  time  is  short — Betty  stands 
guard  at  the  door."  (He  leads  her  to  the  couch,  where 
they  engage  in  earnest  conversation.) 

Lieutenant  Robert  Burns  (making  eyes  for  a  mo- 
ment or  two  at  the  little  Quakeress — aside)  "Zounds ! 
but  that  is  a  pretty  bit  of  womankind ;  I'll  speak  to 
her."  (Aloud)  "  'Pon  my  soul,  sweet  mistress,  you 
and  I  count  for  little.  Love  is  blind,  they  say,  so  the 
pair  yonder  evidently  did  not  see  us,  at  least  we  were 
not  made  acquainted.  I  am  Robert  Burns,  Lieutenant 
with  the  Virginia  Volunteers." 

Prudence  (Making  a  courtesy.)  "And  I  am  Mistress 
Prudence  Hopewell,  of  Philadelphia.  Good  Friend — " 

Robert  Burns  (aside).  "Friend!  That  sounds  encour- 
aging." (Aloud,  looking  over  shoulder  at  couple  on 
the  couch).  "I  am  glad  love  is  blind." 

Prudence.  "I  am  but  a  simple  Quaker  maiden,  good 
sir.  I  know  nothing  of  love." 

Robert  Burns  (eagerly,  moving  towards  her).  "Let 
me  teach  you." 

Prudence  (drawing  away).  "Sir!  I  have  been 
taught  to  spin  and  weave,  to  read  sermons  and  'The 
whole  duty  of  man !'  I  have  learned  of  patience,  of 
humility  and  good  behavior ;  but  not  of  such  an  un- 
seemly thing  as  love." 

Robert.  "\Yhew  !  then  has  your  education  been  sadly 


16  POWDER    AND   PATCHES 

neglected.  Pretty  eyes  like  yours  were  never  made  to 
wear  themselves  out  reading  sermons.  Soft  little  hands 
like  these  (taking  them  gently  and  bending  over  and 
kissing  one)  were  made  for  lovers  kisses.  When  the 
birds  were  singing  in  the  trees  and  the  flowers  were 
all  in  bloom,  did  not  something  (drawing  her  to  him) 
whisper  to  you  that  patience  and  humility  were  very 
ordinary  virtues,  that  there  was  something  sweeter, 
more  beautiful?" 

Prudence  (with  a  sigh).    "Was  that  love?" 

Robert  Burns.     "That  was  love." 

Prudence  (with  another  sigh).  "I  believe,  good 
friend,  I  like  love  best  of  all."  (Her  head  sinks  on 
her  breast.) 

Mrs.  Carter  appears  and  stands  at  the  doorway  in 
amazement  and  anger. 

Mrs.  Carter  (entering).  "Agnes!  What  is  the 
meaning  of  this  extraordinary,  this  shocking  scene?" 

The  young  people  fall  away  from  one  another  in 
dismay.  Agnes  and  Edward  rise  hastily. 

Mrs.  Carter.    "Mr.  Peyton  !" 

Captain  Edward  (interrupting).  "Captain  Peyton, 
at  your  service,  Madam." 

Mistress  Carter  (haughtily).  I  recognize  no  titles 
in  the  Rebel  army,  sir.  You  have  proven  a  worthy 
follower  of  a  vagabond  band." 

Edward  (with  his  hand  on  his  v  sword).  Madam, 
were  you  not  a  woman  and  the  mother  of  the  girl  I 
love,  you  would  take  back  those  words  or  never  speak 
again." 

Mistress  Carter  (with  a  sarcastic  laugh  and  shrug). 
"A  very  pretty  bravery!  But  I  am  a  woman  and  the 
mother  of  a  disobedient  girl,  Mr.  Peyton.  If  you  have 
the  slightest  semblance  of  manhood  left  you  will  leave 


POWDKK    AND    PATCHES  17 

the  house,  from  which  you  have  been  ordered  and  in 
which  your  presence  is  decidedly  unwelcome." 

Agnes.     "Mother,  dearest." 

Mistress  Carter.    "Silence,  undutiful  child." 

Captain  Peyton  (bowing).  "Madam,  as  I  am  a  gen- 
tleman, I  am  unwilling  to  longer  force  myself  upon 
you.  As  I  am  a  captain  in  the  army  of  one  of  the 
noblest  of  gentlemen,  General  George  Washington, 
I  am  compelled  for  the  present  to  take  my  departure. 
Permit  me  to  say,  however,  that  I  love  your  daughter 
and  if  I  live  shall  make  her  my  wife." 
Exit  Captain  Peyton. 

Robert  Burns  (stands  looking  awkward  and  uncom- 
fortable, as  Mistress  Carter  eyes  him  from  head  to 
foot,  he  bows).  "Lieutenant  Robert  Burns,  at  your 
service." 

Contemptuously  she  ignores  him  and  turns  to  Pru- 
dence. 

Mistress  Carter.  "As  for  you,  my  little  Quaker 
miss,  you  are  a  model  of  prudence  and  sobrietv !" 

Prudence  (with  clasped  hands).  "Dear  Mistress 
Carter,  I  was  but  learning  of  love." 

Mistress  Carter  (explosively).    "Well,  of  all  things  !" 

Turns  her  back  upon  them  both,  and  while  she 
talks  to  Agnes  reprovingly,  Prudence  reaches  out  her 
hand  to  Robert,  who  kisses  it.  She  then  takes  her 
handkerchief  from  her  bosom,  kisses  it  and  tosses  it  to 
him. 

He  presses  it  to  his  lips,  bows  and  disappears.  She 
runs  to  the  door,  looks  after  him,  comes  slowly  back, 
lifts  up  her  eyes,  folds  her  arms  and  sighs  deeply. 

Mrs.  Carter  (imperiously).  "Agnes,  here  come  Lady 
lUtrlingame  and  Sir  Charles  Mawly.  Let  them  see  no 
signs  of  disturbance  upon  your  face.' 


18  POWDER   AND   PATCHES 

Enter  Mr.  Richard  Carter,  Lady  Burlingame  and  Sir 
Charles  Mawly,  laughing  and  talking. 

Lady  Burlingame  (affectedly).  "I  was  just  saying, 
dear  Mistress  Carter,  that  I  should  be  so  happy  when 
Lord  Burlingame's  mission  was  concluded  and  we 
were  permitted  to  return  to  dear  old  England.  (Turn- 
ing toward  Agnes.)  My  dear  Agnes"  (kisses  her 
delicately  upon  either  cheek). 

Sir  Charles  Mawly  bows  very  low  and  Agnes  courte- 
sies to  him.  They  sit  upon  the  couch. 

Lady  Burlingame,  continuing  (as  she  sits  in  a  chair, 
languidly).  "I  should  really  die  of  ennui — no  court  life 
and  the  fashions  months  old.  Alack-a-day,  I  shouldn't 
know  whether  to  wear  high  heels  and  long  stays  or 
low  heels  and  loose  robes,  and  if  I  sent  for  a  new 
wig  I  should  be  quite  sure  when  I  received  it  that 
powder  was  out  of  fashion.  Really,  it  must  be  mon- 
strous trying  to  live  in  so  barbarous  and  plebian  a 
land." 

Mistress  Carter  (who  is  seated  in  a  chair  near  Lady 
B.,  sighing).  "Heigho!  dear  Lady  Burlingame;  it  is 
very  wearying  on  ones  nerves." 

Mr.  Carter  (walking  to  center  of  group).  "It  really 
is  heartrending!  Your  nerves  must  be  all  gone,  my 
dear,  as  you  have  lived  in  this  barbarous  country 
about  twenty-five  years." 

Mistress  Carter  makes  an  impatient  gesture. 

Sir  Charles  Mawly,  an  affected  old  beau  (rising). 
"My  dear  Mistress  Carter,  how  I  pity  you!  It  is  so 
very  crude,  you  know,  in  this  Colonial  world."  (Offers 
snuff  to  Mr.  Carter,  takes  some  himself,  and  dusts  his 
coat  affectedly.)  "One  can't  help  being  amused  at  the 
strangeness  of  everything;  and  then  the  society  is  so 
very  mixed,  you  know — Tis  a  mingling  of  cotton  and 
brocade — of  gold  lace  and  linsey — I  can't  help  laugh- 


POWDER    AND   PATCHES  19 

ing  at  the  idea  of  this  George  Washington  (I  believe 
that's  the  name),  becoming  the  ruler  of  this  country. 
Of  course  such  an  outcome  is  simply  impossible 
against  the  odds,  but  what  an  amusing  coterie  ht 
would  draw  around  him — such  a  tatter  demalior.  rag- 
a-muffin  court !" 

Lady  Burlingame  joins  in  the  laugh. 

Agnes  (straightening  herself  angrily).  "Sir  Charles, 
pardon  me,  but  you  are  ridiculing  the  land  of  my 
birth,  and  General  Washington  is  a  gentleman  whose 
presence  would  grace  any  assemblage." 

Sir  Charles  Mawly  (hastily  taking  a  pinch  of  snuff). 
''No  offence,  my  dear  young  lady,  I  assure  you.  Per- 
mit me  to  say,  however,  that  your  beauty  and  grace 
were  never  made  to  be  wasted  on  this  desert  air ;  they 
will  thrive  only  upon  less  rugged  soil.  You  are  a 
dainty  exotic."  (Bows.) 

Lady  Burlingame  (coyly).  "And  Sir  Charles  would 
transplant  your  charm  to  his  own  garden.  But  what 
have  we  here  (going  to  Prudence  and  inspecting  her). 
What  an  odd  child ;  what  sort  of  a  little  plant  is  this, 
pray?" 

Prudence  (drawing  herself  to  her  full  height  and 
making  a  stiff  courtesy).  "Madam,  I  am  Prudence 
Hopewell,  at  thy  service." 

Lady  Burlingame  (laughing  and  looking  her  over). 
"Prudence  Hopewell — a  name  as  odd  as  your  gown." 

Prudence  (aside).  Prudence!  Verily,  Prudence! 
Keep  down  the  righteous  wrath !  (aloud.)  "Madam, 
I  am  a  Quakeress,  not  a  curiosity." 

Lady  Burlingame  (with  condescension).  "Dear  me! 
I  have  heard  of  the  sect  before ;  you  are  certainly  very 
unique." 

Prudence   (with  spirit).     "As  thee  says,  this  is  a 


20  POWDER    AND    PATCHES 

barbarous  land.  But  if  these  be  the  manners  of  our 
Mother  Country,  I  will  return  in  peace  to  Philadel- 
phia." 

Mr.  Carter  laughs  to  himself,  as  Lady  B.  walks  away 
from  the  Quakeress  in  anger. 

Sir  Charles  Mawly  (laughing  affectedly).    "Subside, 
dear  Lady  Burlingame ;  the  pretty  baggage  hath  wit 
and  a  sharp  tongue  despite  her  modest  garb." 
Enter  Betty  Sinclair,  hastily. 

Betty.  "Agnes,  he's  gone."  (Stops,  seeing  the 
guests.) 

Mistress  Carter  (aside).  "That  piece  of  impudence 
is  at  the  bottom  of  this.  I  will  soon  stop  her  tongue. 
(Aloud.)  Mistress  Betty  Sinclair,  you  have  the  pleas- 
ure of  knowing  my  guests,  I  believe.  Let  me  present 
Sir  Charles  Mawly  in  a  new  capacity — as  the  future 
husband' of  my  daughter,  Agnes." 

Agnes  (excitedly).     "Mother." 

Sir  Charles  bows;  Betty  courtesies  and  Mr.  Carter 
touches  Agnes  and  puts  his  finger  upon  his  lips. 
(Curtain.) 


ACT  II. 

SCENE. — Living  room  at  Glenview.  One  month  is 
supposed  to  have  elapsed  between  first  and  second 
acts. 

Enter  Geranium. 

"Dis  am  a  fine  state  of  affairs,  I  mus'  say.  Whew  I 
if  ole  Miss  ain'  mad  I'll  eat  my  turban.  It  wouldn't 
'sprise  me  if  she'd  bust  any  minute.  Heah  we  bin 
waitin'  one  hour  fur  a  weddin'  an'  dah  aint  no  bride- 
groom." 


POWDKU    AND    PATCHES  21 

Muter  Betty  Sinclair  in  wedding  finery (  pretending  to 
look  anxious.) 

"Oh,  Geranium,  isn't  this  dreadful?  The  house  full 
of  guests,  and  they  are  getting  impatient,  and  not  a 
sign  of  Gabriel  or  Sir  Charles.  Gabriel  could  not 
have  lost  his  way,  could  he?" 

Geranium.  "Los"  his  way?  What  you  talkin'  'bout 
chile?  \Yhy  dat  niggah  bin  drivin'  back  and  forth 
over  dat  road  fur  de  last  fifteen  yeahs.  No,  1  tell  you, 
Miss  Betty,  dis  country's  full  o'  ghostes.  You  couldn't 
hire  me  to  go  by  dat  graveyard  down  by  de  fork,  and 
dey  has  to  pass  dere.  I've  heard  o'  groanin's  an' 
moanin's  an'  rattlin'  bones  down  dat  a  way  foah  dis, 
honey ;  shuah's  you  bawn,  some  ole  witch  done  swoop 
down  an'  kotch  up  Gabriel  an'  Sir  Charles  an'  we 
won't  never  see  hide  nor  hair  of  either  of  'em  any 
mo'." 

Betty  (aside).  "Heaven  grant  it  to  be  true,  (aloud.) 
Now,  Geranium,  dont'  be  absurd ;  you  speak  as  though 
the  air  were  as  full  of  witches  as  of  buzzards,  seeking 
whom  they  might  devour.  It's  my  opinion  Gabriel 
has  lost  his  way." 

Geranium.  "He  ain't  los'  no  way,  honey ;  der's  some 
kin'  of  mixtery  'bout  des  heah  weddin'.  I  tell  yo'  de 
Lawd  don'  prove  of  it  or  somethin'.  Well,  I  mus'  go 
an'  see  my  baby  lam'.  She 'looks  like  a  corpse  hersc'f. 
Maybe  dere's  a  judgement  comin'  to  ole  Miss  fur 
'sistin'  on  Miss  Agnes  marryin'  dat  man  stid  of  Mars 
Edward,  kase  every  one  knows  she's  pinin'  her  life 
'way  tur  him.  Ef  ole  Miss  pride  gits  any  mo'  twists 
she's  gwine  to  bus'  foah  dis  day  is  over,  mark  my 
word." 

Exit  Geranium. 

Betty  (excitedly).  "Oh,  I  wonder  if  it  will  come 
out  right.  I  am  so  afraid  our  scheme  will  miscarry." 


22  POWDER    AND   PATCHES 

Enter  Mr.  Carter — Betty  runs  to  him. 
"Oh,  dear  Mr.  Carter,  is  she  angry  enough  yet  to 
give  in?" 

Mr.  Carter  (laughing).  ''Well,  nearly.  She  will 
never  let  the  guests  go  away  without  a  wedding,  of 
that  you  may  be  sure;  her  pride  could  never  stand  the 
gossip  around  the  country  side." 

Betty.  "But  they  won't  hurt  Sir  Charles — when— 
they  surround  the  carriage?  That  would  be  too  bad !" 

Mr.  Carter.  "Sh !  not  so  loud.  I  told  you  you  made 
a  poor  conspirator,  with  your  chattering  tongue.  Of 
course  they  won't  hurt  him.  Do  you  suppose  he  would 
fight  if  put  to  the  test ;  not  he.  'Tis  a  gentleman  of 
the  drawing  room,  who,  if  I  mistake  not,  will  faint  at 
the  sight  of  a  highwayman's  mask." 

Betty.    "Does  Agnes  suspect  anything?" 

Mr.  Carter.     "No,  poor  child;  if  she  did  she  would 
not  look  so  sad  and  pale.     My  only  consolation  is  we 
are  sacrificing  her  now  to  make  her  happy  later." 
Enter  Prudence. 

Mr.  Carter.    "Here  comes  one  of  our  conspirators." 

Prudence.  "Dear  Friend  Carter,  call  me  not  a  con- 
spirator ;  I  am  but  a  Quaker  maiden,  and  know  noth- 
ing of  schemes." 

Mr.  Carter  and  Betty  both  laugh  merrily. 

Mr.  Carter.  "Nothing  of  schemes?  Why  Lucretia 
Borgia  was  a  mere  innocent  babe  compared  with  you, 
and  you  look  so  young  and  innocent." 

Betty.  "And  you  know  nothing  of  love,  either." 
(Laughs.) 

Prudence  pouts. 

Enter  Agnes  in  wedding  gown  and  veil,  Mistress 
Carter  in  brocade,  white  wig  and  lace. 


POWDER    AND   PATCHES  23 

Mistress  Carter.  "Go  and  sit  down,  child;  you  are 
nervous ;  your  father  will  give  you  some  wine." 

Agnes  goes  to  a  seat  and  Mr.  Carter  pours  a  glass 
of  wine.  Betty  and  Prudence  go  to  her  and  lovingly 
arrange  her  veil  and  gown.  Mistress  Carter  paces  the 
floor  for  a  moment ;  pauses  and  speaks  explosively — 

"Well,  this  is  monstrous !  Over  one  hour  we  have 
waited  upon  the  pleasure  of  the  bridegroom  and  my 
child  is  still  waiting.  I  feel  as  though  I  could  never 
face  those  people  again  with  their  stares  and  whispered 
asides." 

Mr.  Carter  (coming  forward).  "My  dear,  you  seem 
to  be  agitated." 

Mistress  Carter.  ''Agitated !  Agitated !  Well,  who 
would  not  be  agitated?  You  are  perfectly  calm.  It  is 
of  little  consequence  to  you  whether  your  child  is 
ever  wedded  or  not.  Do  you  suppose  I  would  suffer 
the  disgrace  of  having  her  remain  single  all  her  days 
— and  such  a  brilliant  opportunity!  It  is  horrible.  I 
tell  you,  if  you  are  half  a  man  you  will  challenge  Sir 
Charles  in  the  morning  for  his  insult  to  your  child." 

Enter  Lady  Burlingame. 

Lady  B.  "My  dear  Mistress  Carter,  is  not  this 
extraordinary?" 

Mistress  Carter.  "Extraordinary?  It  is  abominable, 
insulting,  humiliating.  I  wonder  that  you  introduced 
such  a  man  into  our  midst." 

Lady  Burlingame  (drawing  herself  to  her  full 
height).  "Madame,  you  forget  yourself.  Sir  Charles 
Mawly  is  an  English  gentleman  of  fine  lineage.  Am 
I  responsible  because  he  does  not  appear  at  the  proper 
moment  to  wed  your  child?  Perchance  he  was  lost 
in  the  miserable  roads  in  your  barbarous  country." 

Mistress   Carter.     "Miserable  roads!     There    were 


24  POWDER    AND   PATCHES 

some  horrible  roads  in  England,  if  I  mistake  not,  when 
I  was  a  girl." 

Lady  Burlingame  (sarcastically).  "But,  my  dear 
Mistress  Carter,  that  was  such  a  very  long  time  ago, 
you  know." 

Mistress  Carter.  "Indeed !  You  must  have  trav- 
eled over  them  about  the  same  time,  dear  Lady  Bur- 
lingame, so  you  must  remember." 

Lady  Burlingame  (angrily).  "'Pon  my  word,  Mis- 
tress Carter,  you  show  a  very  ugly  temper.  You  were 
anxious  enough  to  catch  Sir  Charles,  even  if  you  are  so 
ready  now  to  berate  us  both  because  your  schemes 
have  miscarried." 

Mistress  Carter.  "Allow  me  to  inform  you,  Lady 
Burlingame,  that  there  was  no  need  for  anxiety  as 
to  my  daughter's  marriage.  She  is  very  young,  and 
then,  too,  she  does  not  have  to  beg  for  suitors.  Captain 
Edward  Peyton,  whose  estate  lies  next  to  ours,  has 
long  desired  her  hand  in  marriage." 

Betty   Sinclair  slips  out  and  returns   immediately. 

Lady  Burlingame  (drawlingly).  "Really!  Then 
why  has  he  not  appeared  upon  the  scene  before?" 

Captain  Edward  (standing  in  the  doorway  in  satin 
and  velvet).  "He  is  here,  madam,  at  your  service." 

Mistress  Carter  and  Lady  Burlingame  look  startled. 

Agnes  rushes  forward  with  a  glad  cry,  "Edward," 
and  he  takes  her  in  his  arms. 

Edward.  "Madam,  your  guests  are  in  the  drawing- 
room  waiting  for  a  wedding.  It  will  scarcely  do  to 
disappoint  them.  Shall  I  marry  your  daughter?" 

Mistress  Carter  (angrily).     "It  is  a  plot/' 

Lady  Burlingame  (with  a  toss  of  the  head).  "There 
is  some  monstrous  plot  here,  Madam  Carter.  You 
may  appear  innocent,  but  I  am  not  deceived." 


POWDKR    AXD   PATCHKS  25 

Mistress  Carter  (looking  at  her  defiantly  a  moment, 
then  turning  to  the  young  couple  in  the  doorway). 
"Come  into  the  drawing  room  and  be  married." 

Exit  Mistress  Carter,  Captain  Peyton,  Agnes,  Betty 
Sinclair  and  Prudence. 

Lady  Burlingame.  "Mr.  Carter,  I  have  been  in- 
sulted ;  oblige  me  by  ordering  my  coach  and  four  at 
once." 

Mr.  Carter.  "My  dear  Lady  Burlingame,  may  I 
crave  your  patience.  (Places  a  chair  for  her — she  hes- 
itates angrily  a  moment,  then  sits  down  and  he  takes 
a  seat  near  by).  You  are  a  most  charming  woman 
and,  like  all  charming  women,  I  know  you  love  a 
romance.  There  has  been  a  plot,  I  acknowledge  it ; 
but  neither  my  wife  nor  my  daughter  had  the  slightest 
suspicion  of  it.  Agnes  was  pining  away  her  young 
life  for  love  of  this  Captain  Peyton  and  her  mother 
was  set  on  the  other  match.  You  may  have  observed, 
Mistress  Carter  is  somewhat  determined." 

Lady  Burlingame  (with  a  sneer).  "Quite  an  appar- 
ent fact,  my  dear  Mr.  Carter." 

Mr.  Carter.  "Well,  there  was  naught  to  do  but  to 
detain  the  carriage.  I  think  there  were  some  bogus 
highwaymen,  but  do  not  be  alarmed ;  Sir  Charles  will 
not  be  injured  ;  he  is  to  be  rescued  and  will  probably 
appear  very  soon." 

Lady  Burlingame  (rising).  "But  what  will  Mistress 
Carter  say  ?" 

Mr.  Carter  (rising  and  going  to  small  table  holding 
decanter).  "That  will  come  later.  Meantime  I  will 
fortify  myself  for  an  explosion."  (Pours  a  glass  of 
wine,  offers  to  Lady  Burlingame  and  both  drink,  touch- 
ing their  glasses  together.) 

Lieutenant  Burns  enters  from  left  of  stage,  looks 


26  POWDER   AND   PATCHES 

around  and,  seeing  Mr.  Carter  and  Lady  Burlingame, 
dodges  back  of  screen. 

Mr.  Carter.  "And  now,  my  dear  Lady,  will  you  for- 
get and  forgive  and  come  to  the  drawing  room." 

She  smiles  and  gives  him  her  hand,  which  he  kisses, 
and  he  leads  her  out  of  the  room. 

Enter  from  left  Lieutenant  Burns,  cautiously,  hold- 
ing a  black  mask  in  his  hand. 

"Well,  this  is  my  first  essay  as  a  full-fledged  high- 
wayman. If  all  prey  were  as  easily  captured !" 

Enter  Prudence. 

Lieutenant  Burns.  "Ah,  my  little  gray  bird;  are 
you  doing  penance  for  being  in  so  deep  laid  a  scheme?" 

Prudence  (shaking  her  finger).  "Thee  should  be 
repenting  thy  sins,  Mr.  Highwayman.  Cut  short  thy 
career  at  the  beginning — put  away  thy  mask — it  may 
betray  thee." 

Lieutenant  Robert  Burns  (thrusting  mask  in  pock- 
et). "Really,  good  Mistress  Prudence,  'tis  hard  to 
repent  when  one  has  so  charming  a  co-conspirator,  and 
so  easy  prey.  Oh,  if  you  could  but  have  seen  the 
poor  baronet  shake  and  tremble  when  Sergeant  Brown 
and  I  stopped  the  coach.  Egad !  but  he  was  a  precious 
coward !  Gabriel  nearly  rolled  off  the  seat  with  laugh- 
ter. I  was  afraid  the  black  scoundrel  would  spoil 
everything.  Sir  Charles  went  down  on  his  knees  and 
begged  us  to  spare  his  life.  The  rescuing  party  came 
in  due  time  and  will  escort  him  to  the  avenue.  I  gal- 
loped on  ahead,  and  here  I  am.  Did  Mistress  Carter 
give  in  at  last  ?" 

Prudence.  "Yes,  she  was,  alas,  very  angry  at  Sir 
Charles  and  then  Captain  Peyton  appeared  by  chance." 

Lieutenant  Robert  (repeating,  with  a  wink).  "By 
chance,  of  course." 


POWDER   AND   PATCHES  27 

Prudence.  "Of  course  by  chance  (looks  wise).  She 
consented  to  his  marriage  with  Agnes.  They  are  in 
the  drawing  room  now — being  married." 

Lieutenant  Robert  (coming  closer).  "I  wish  we 
were,  don't  you?" 

Prudence  (looking  innocent).  "Alas,  good  sir;  I  am 
but  a  simple  Quaker  maiden ;  what  do  I  know  of 
marriage?" 

Lieutenant  Burns.  "Well,  if  you  know  as  much  of 
marriage  as  you  know  of  schemes,  and  love,  and  a 
few  other  things,  we  shall  get  on  famously." 

Prudence.    "But  thou  art  not  a  Quaker." 

Lieutenant  Robert.  "I  think  I  am  a  Quaker  once 
removed,  or  something.  That  is,  I  think  there  were 
Quakers  in  the  family  once  upon  a  time.  I  believe 
I  remember  very  distinctly  my  grandfather  used  to 
talk  that  way ;  he  used  to  say  to  me  so  often,  'Robert, 
hast  thou' — I  mean,  'hast  thee  done  thou  chores?" 

Prudence  (rolling  up  her  eyes  at  him).  "I  fear  he 
was  of  a  different  sect  from  ours." 

Lieutenant  Robert,  "Then  I  think  it  would  be  very 
pleasant  to  be  related  to  the  Quakers  by  marriage, 
don't  you?" 

Prudence  (casting  down  her  eyes).  "I  think  it 
would  be  most  seemly,  Friend  Robert,  if  'tis  thy 
wish." 

Robert  (catching  her  in  his  arms).  "Oh,  Prudence, 
you  darling!"  (They  sit  upon  the  couch.) 

Enter  Betty  Sinclair. 

"Well,  it's  all  over.  (Stops,  seeing  the  two  embrac- 
ing.) No,  I  think  it  has  just  begun,  Ahem !  (They 
pay  no  attention.)  Shall  I  call  the  clergyman?  We 
might  as  well  have  a  wedding  in  every  room.  Pru- 


28  POWDER    AND    PATCHES 

dence !     I  am  astonished.     (They  fall  apart  guiltily.) 
Have  you  no  sense  of  propriety?" 

Lieutenant  Burns  (rising  from  the  couch).  "Xo\v, 
do  not  scold  Prudence;  you  know  she  is  a  simple  little 
Quaker  maiden,  and  knows  nothing  of  love." 

Betty  (shaking  her  finger).  "Prudence,  if  you  ever 
dare  tell  me  that  again !  But  (to  Robert)  what  have 
you  done  with  Sir  Charles?" 

Robert  (laughing).  "He  is  coming  on  the  road 
somewhere.  He'll  be  here  very  soon  and  then  there'll 
be  a  pretty  kettle  of  fish." 

Enter  Agnes  and  Edward. 

Edward.  "What  a  relief,  my  darling,  to  be  away 
from  all  those  people." 

Agnes  (running  to  Betty).  "Oh,  dear,  Betty :  I  am 
so  happy." 

Edward  (coming  forward).  "Yes,  dear  Betty,  we 
are  very  happy,  and  Burns,  my  good  fellow  (taking 
his  hand),  I  must  give  you  my — our — warmest  thanks. 
Did  everything  run  smoothly?" 

Robert.  "My  dear  comrade,  the  plot  moved  without 
a  hitch.  But,  zounds !  what  a  coward — I  could  have 
knocked  him  over  with  my  little  finger." 

Agnes  (looking  from  one  to  the  other).  "What 
plot?" 

Betty.  "Do  not  ask  any  questions  now,  my  dear. 
Accept  the  blessings  of  Providence  as  they  fall.  Did 
you  see  how  calmly  the  guests  took  the  change  of 
bridegrooms.  If  they  were  surprised  they  were  too 
pol  te  to  show  it.  I  trust  the  bridegroom  that  was  to 
have  been  will  be  as  calm — Hush !  here  he  comes." 

Loud  talking  in  the  hall. 

The  young  ladies  sit  down  quickly  and  all  try  to 
appear  unconcerned. 


POWDER    AND   PATCH  IS  29 

Yqice  outside. 

"Outrage !  outrage !" 

Enter  Sir  Charles  in  an  excited  and  angry  state. 

Enter  also  Gabriel  with  lantern  and  whip,  and  Mr. 
Richard  Carter. 

Sir  Charles.  "I  tell  you,  Mr.  Carter,  it  is  an  outrage 
that  a  man  can  not  travel  any  distance  in  this  God- 
forsaken land  without  being  robbed  and  murdered." 

Mr.  Carter.  "My  dear  Sir  Charles,  have  you  been 
robbed?  You  do  not  look  as  though  you  have  been 
murdered ;  I  do  not  see  a  scratch  upon  you." 

Sir  Charles.  "That  was  my  skill,  Mr.  Carter;  Heav- 
en be  thanked  that  I  am  an  adept  with  my  sword ;  I 
know  not  how  many  men  I  have  left  torn  and  bleeding 
on  the  road." 

Gabriel.    "Te  !  he  !  he !" 

Sir  Charles.  "You  black  rascal,  how  dare  you 
laugh  when  I  have  come  through  such  an  ordeal ;  you 
wore  of  great  assistance,  I  must  say.  Mr.  Carter, 
1  would  have  the  rascal  whipped.  He  sat  upon  the 
box  and  did  not  even  dismount  to  come  to  my  aid." 

Mr.  Carter  (assuming  an  angry  expression  of  coun- 
tenance). "Gabriel,  you  wretch,  what  do  you  mean 
by  such  knavery?" 

Gabriel.  "Xow,  Mars  Richard,  jes'  let  me  'splanify. 
You  see  we  wuz  drivin'  an'  drivin'  'long,  an'  the  road 
wuz  dark  an'  I  wuz  settin'  up  putty  straight  watchin' 
fur  ghostes." 

Mr.  Carter.  "You  are  always  on  the  lookout  for 
ghosts  and  witches,  Gabe." 

Gabriel.  "Well,  you  rekommember,  Mars  Richard, 
dat  dere  wuz  a  man  murdered  'bout  ten  yeahs  ago 
down  by  de  branch,  an'  Solomon  Meadowgrass  he  wuz 
drivin'  'long  dat  road  one  night — " 


30  POWDER    AND   PATCHES 

Mr.  Carter  (interrupting).  "Never  mind  about 
Solomon,  Gabriel." 

Gabriel.  "No,  sir,  Mars  Richard,  I  ain't  gwine  to 
say  nothin'  'bout  Solomon ;  but  ain't  nobody  ever  see 
nothin'  of  him  since  that  night.  Well,  we  come  'long 
to  de  bunch  of  willows  down  by  de  branch  an'  some- 
body come  out  by  de  side  of  de  kerridge  an  say  Halt — 
an'  I  jes'  natchelly  halt,  kase  'twant  common  sense  to 
go  on  when  somebodv  wid  two  pistols  in  his  hands  say 
'Halt!"1 

Sir  Charles.  "Villainous  looking  wretches  they 
were,  too,  Mr.  Carter.' 

Lieutenant  Burns  straightens  himself  in  an  indig- 
nant manner  and  Captain  Peyton,  Betty  and  Agnes 
look  at  him,  laughingly. 

Gabriel  (continuing).  "An'  dey  open  de  kerridge 
an'  Sir  Charles  he  got  out  an'  fall  on  his  knees." 

Sir  Charles  (interrupting  hastily).  "Ahem!  Enough 
said,  you  scoundrel.  Fortunate  for  me,  you  poltroon, 
that  I  am  a  man  of  courage.  Suffice  it  to  say  that 
I  was  compelled  to  defend  myself  unaided  and  alone. 
Mr.  Carter,  I  descended  from  the  carriage,  slashed 
right  and  left  with  my  good  sword,  cutting  my  way 
through  the  band  of  highwaymen." 

Captain  Peyton  (aside,  with  a  long  breath).  "Whew ! 
there  were  just  two."  (holds  up  two  fingers). 

Agnes  (coming  forward).  "But,  Sir  Charles,  is  it 
not  strange  that  you  have  come  from  this  bloody 
fray  with  no  stains  upon  your  coat ;  you  must  be 
wondrous  skillful." 

Sir  Charles  (bowing).  "Fair  Mistress,  pardon  me 
if  I  say  I  am  counted  amongst  my  intimates  quite  a 
man  of  skill ;  'twas  a  mere  nothing.  But,  I  beg  you 
to  forgive  me,  if  I  in  my  excitement  forgot  what  was 
due  to  you  (bowing  low).  Shall  I  ever  be  able  to  make 


POWDER    AXn    I'ATCh 


due  apologies  and  reparation  for  my  seemingly  ungal- 
lant  conduct?" 

Agnes  (making  a  courtesy).  "Sir  Charles  I  am 
quite  willing  to  forgive  you." 

Sir  Charles.  "Ah,  your  nature  is  as  sweet  as  your 
face,  dear  mistress.  I  am  fortunate  to  have  won  so 
charming  a  mate." 

Edward  Peyton  (stepping  forward  and  bowing). 
"Sir  Charles  Mawly,  I  am  Captain  Edward  Peyton, 
at  your  service.  The  charm  of  Mistress  Agnes  I  ac- 
knowledge ;  but,  as  she  hath  become  Madame  Peyton 
within  the  hour,  I  fear  you  cannot  call  her  your  mate." 

Sir  Charles.  "Zounds!  Sir,  what  are  you  saying? 
My  bride  has  become  another's?  A  further  outrage! 
Sir,  you  must  answer  for  this."  (Draws  his  sword 
partly  from  its  sheath.) 

Captain  Peyton  (bowing;  drawing  his  sword  in  the 
same  manner).  "I  am  at  your  service,  Sir  Charles; 
if  the  ladies  will  but  withdraw." 

Agnes  (clasping  his  arm  with  both  hands).  "No, 
no,  Edward,  I  pray  you,  do  not  fight." 

Enter  Lady  Burlingame  and  Mistress  Carter  ;  they 
start  back. 

Lady  Burlingame.  "What's  this,  a  duel  ;  and  on  a 
wedding  eve?  Gentlemen,  gentlemen,  I  am  aston- 
ished !  Charles,  dear  friend,  put  up  your  sword  ;  you 
are  the  best  of  fellows  at  heart;  this  charming  girl 
has  just  been  made  a  wife;  you  surely  would  not  make 
her  a  widow  ;  and  then,  you  know,  you  really  wouldn't 
fight  for  the  world." 

Sir  Charles  (blustering).  "Madam,  you  try  me  be- 
yond the  bounds  of  friendship.  Do  you  accuse  me  of 
being  a  coward,  when  I  left  in  yonder  road  three,  per- 
chance four  or  five  bleeding  highwaymen?" 


32  POWDER    AND   PATCHES 

Lieutenant  Robert  Burns  (aside).  "Well,  he  de- 
serves a  medal  from  King  George  for  lying — a  brother 
to  Ananias!" 

Mistress  Carter.  "Sir  Charles,  I  consider  your  pres- 
ence in  this  house  an  insult  after  your  treatment  of 
my  daughter." 

Mr.  Carter.  "My  dear.  Sir  Charles  was  beset  by 
highwaymen,  and  really  has  been  unfortunate." 

Mistress  Carter  (proudlv).  "I  wish  no  explanation, 
sir." 

Lady  Burlingame  (touching  her  arm).  "Come,  Mis- 
tress Carter;  forgive  Sir  Charles,  and  you,  Sir  Charles, 
forgive  the  lucky  bridegroom.  All's  well  that  ends 
well !  The  young  people  are  happy  and  you  have  left 
in  yonder  road  four  or  five,  or  did  you  say  six,  bleeding 
highwaymen,  so  we  acknowledge  your  prowess,  and  I 
know  you  are  very  good-natured,  so  let  us  all  shake 
hands  and  be  friends." 

Captain  Edward  extends  his  hand;  Sir  Charles  blus- 
ters and  hesitates  for  a  moment  and  then  takes  the 
proffered  hand.  Mistress  Carter  extends  her  hand, 
which  Sir  Charles  raises  to  his  lips. 

Betty  Sinclair.  "Come,  I  can  keep  still  no  longer. 
They  are  dancing  in  the  drawing  room.  Let  us  have 
a  minuet  here." 

The  rugs  are  taken  up  and  furniture  moved  aside 
by  Gabriel  and  Geranium,  and  the  minuet  is  danced. 
During  the  dancing  of  the  minuet  the  little  Quakeress 
sits  demurely  watching  the  dancers  for  a  time,  rises, 
takes  a  step  or  two,  catches  at  her  skirts  modestly, 
sits  down,  then  rises  again  and  again  sits  down,  finally 
falling  into  a  little  dance  of  her  own. 

CURTAIN. 


